Becoming aware of my purpose. 

What I wish life was like. 

I know, probably not the best thing.  I find myself thinking about it more and more, though.  If I acted to bring my thoughts into reality, it may be useful to imagine these things.  But my thoughts, void of action, simply breed a waiting ground where I wish for more as I appreciate less. 

Not currently. 

I have recently recognized how beneficial some routines, schedules, rituals, and patterns could be for me.  I'm actually working on developing some that I'm willing to commit to.  The only ones that come naturally for me are how I like the towels folded or where the dishes are supposed to go in the cupboard. 

What I really need is to embrace routines as something that gives me strength and frees me.  Not as something that limits me.  I've been obsessed with my "freedom" from a very young age.  I believe my choices to not accept routines and "rules" have hindered my growth.  I get stuck and don't know my way out because I don't have routines that draw me forward in life no matter what. 

So that's what I'm working on.  Some rituals, routines, a schedule.  Something to be constant.  As Lao Tzu has said, "Appropriate rituals channel your emotions and life energy toward the light. Without the discipline to practice them, you will tumble constantly backward into darkness."  This was a great question so I could go public (and, therefore, be liable) with my plan.  Wish me luck! 

Watching my boy, listening to the baby in my wife's belly, watching sunsets/sunrises, snow falling, the wind on my face, autumn leaves, an outside nap on a warm day, Christmas lights. 

In a familiar environment. 

Sometimes I get uncomfortable meeting new people when I'm also in a new place (one thing at a time, right?).  When I'm with friends/family, in a familiar place, or something like that then I think it's easier to extend myself in meeting new people.  Otherwise I'm taking in too many new things at once and I don't focus on the new person as well.  I'm much less self-conscious when I'm grounded in something familiar.